I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
