Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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