Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
