Already got asked if we're dating
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Randomize
