Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
