Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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