There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I have feelings that need drinking.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
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