Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
