Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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