Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
