I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
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