Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
