I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Randomize
