How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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