my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
