bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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