my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
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