if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
