How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
