the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize