It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
