We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
