all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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