Michael Bay diarrhea
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
