Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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