I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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