Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
