she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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