So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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