Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Randomize