I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
i just google imaged poop.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize