yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
