I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
