Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
