no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
vagina is talking i cant
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize