She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
