I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
