Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
The best revenge is premature balding
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
