Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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