Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
