There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
