but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
this hospital has no fireball
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
