we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
