capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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