You work out of a Hotel?
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Randomize
