Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
