Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
