Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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