I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
