someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
