Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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