You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
