Kiss
Puke
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
