Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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