Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
