what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
there is puke in my bra ... again
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
