The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I can tuck mytits in my pants
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
