Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
