we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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