Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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