Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
