I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
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