2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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