apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Terrible idea I love it
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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