oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I feel like abortions should bother me more
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Shame - the story of my life.
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