Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
