I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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