he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
This is my gift to your gina
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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