Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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