im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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