So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
