Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
