Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
